Not Your Biggest Fan (Not Yours) by SARA NEY

Author:SARA NEY [NEY, SARA]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Montlake
Published: 2025-01-28T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 18

Danny: You seriously have no plans to see the guy again? After he blew your mind with middle of the night sex?? Girl, you’re crazy.

Harlow: I already told you—I cannot afford to go jet-setting around the US and besides. It sounds like he spends a lot of time with his parents in Ohio . . .

Ava: Ohio? Yikessss . . .

Harlow: What’s wrong with Ohio?

Ava: What’s Not wrong with Ohio.

Harlow: Have you even ever been there?

Ava: That would be a no from me.

Harlow: Then don’t judge. Besides, I have a feeling it’s a lot like Green Bay, and there’s nothing here, either. If you don’t count cornfields.

Danny: Ew, corn.

Harlow: You can’t just come at us with EW, Corn.

Portia: I leave to go to the bathroom for One second, and I come back to thirty messages blowing up my phone. What are y’all even talking about?

Danny: Boys.

Portia: What about them?

Danny: Girl, scroll up.

Harlow: They were asking if I was going to see Andy again, and I said no, it was too far. He lives in Seattle.

Portia: Yeah, no. Too far, you’re not Taylor Swift, you cannot go jet-setting around the country for a man if he can’t come to you.

Harlow: That’s What i Said! Literally.

Danny: I would buy a ticket to the freaking Moon, honey, if it meant good sex.

Ava: That surprises no one.

Harlow: Can we please stop talking about what I’m doing, and can everybody just tell me what they’re doing? It’s stressing me out having everyone talk about my love life lol.

Danny: I’m over here doing no one.

Portia: Yeah, same. Although someone from the condom company who wants to put sponsored ads within the app asked me if she could call me sometime this week . . .

Danny: What?! When were you going to tell us this?

Portia: I’m telling y’all now. I wasn’t sure if it was professional or not to date someone who is planning on paying us for a service.

Ava: I mean—we should probably have a policy about that at some point, but for now, we want to know every sordid detail.

Portia: I’m not really all that interested, but I do appreciate the fact that she put herself out there. So we’ll see.

Harlow: Fair enough.

Portia: I don’t know, she wears a lot of plaid? Who wears plaid in the summer?

Danny: Good point, but who wears plaid, period?

Harlow: I love plaid!!!!!!

Danny: Yeah, we know. But wearing plaid in winter does seem like something you would do. Be honest. Did your grandma have one of those basements with plaid carpet and a tiki bar?

Harlow: No, but I’m sure one of her friends did.

Ava: If that isn’t the most midwestern thing you’ve ever heard of, or is it just a Nana thing?

Harlow: I’d say it’s a midwestern thing, but primarily they did the plaid carpet in the 60s. It was rad back in the day.

Portia: I personally love that look. Vintage is so hot right now.

Danny: Speaking of hot, back to Portia and her dating dilemma . . .

Portia: It’s not a dilemma.

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